It has been a while,
Since I last made myself prominent in church.
Usually I would just sneak away when service is over, so as to minimize contact with anybody.
But last night during the general meeting for members, I decided that I would sit in front, on the last seat of the second row.
I was alone and it was hard to miss.
A lot of people (friends, old friends, former ministry members, even pastor AZ) came over to say hi. A handful actually caught up with me and had proper conversations (i.e. more than 5 minutes, not just hi-bye). They asked what I have been up to, how I was coping, and they offered me their encouragement.
I was honestly very touched. At least I know that there were people who, genuinely, still care.
Some persuaded me to go back to ministry, because, in their opinion, I excelled in what I did and it was a waste to see me leave. My answer to them was that we’ll never know what happens in the future, but at least for the meantime, I need a lot of personal space and I need to find time to get back up on my feet again.
It has been almost 8 years. My relationship with the church had been rocky, and certainly there were a few incidents that disappointed and upset me. But no relationship is perfect, it is the desire to be willing to hold on to what you have, and learning how to give and take.
I still love my church.