I think people fail to realize that I am here alone. I am not here for mission work and I am not here to work for a non-profit organization.
I don’t get any form of help, or assistance, or support from anyone.
Having said that, I am grateful to have friends who, despite being 2000km away, still make their presence felt through encouraging messages and even financial loans. One even offered to sub a credit card for me upon learning that I don’t have a local bank account here yet.
Yet, If I have learnt anything about myself over the past 26 years, it’s that I am also not that reliant on anybody. I can survive and manage well on my own.
I can live alone, I can be solitary.
A recent spate of events resulted in me having to pay all my expenses in cash. I no longer get to enjoy the convenience of using a credit card. Initially I thought it wouldn’t be much of a problem, especially since I am pretty much settled in.
However, later this week, I have visit the Thai Consulate in Laos for my visa application, which takes at least 2 days. That would mean spending 2 nights in Laos, which I have no credit card to book/reserve any room in advance. I can only search for a room after arriving in Laos itself, and then swinging by each hostel/hotel to check for available rooms. To make matters worse, I read from other websites that the better hotels are usually full by noon everyday.
I am not posting this to seek sympathy or to show how pathetic my situation is.
I don’t have to prove anything or to seek validation from anyone.
I don’t give a shit about what other people think about me.
I am posting this because, in years to come, when I read back on these obstacles that I faced,
I will remember how God is able to pull me through.