I posted this almost 2 years ago. Back then I was going through a rough patch, and that post was birthed out from a whirlwind of emotions. Reading it now may seem like a bunch of gibberish, probably sounding like some incoherent speech from a homeless drunk.
This came back to haunt me recently, and I am starting to wonder if we get to choose life, or perhaps is it the other way round.
I guess for most of us, we feel that we get to choose life.
We choose the life we want from the decisions and choices we make.
Our day to day decisions play a part in influencing and shaping our lives.
We choose the life we want.
We want to live a life of victory and success, so we develop a plan to work hard and achieve good results.
We want to live a life of fitness and good health, so we stick to a strict diet and also a regular exercise regime.
We want that new car, we want that branded bag, we want that nice watch.
We want to get what we want. We want to have nice things. We like ownership. We like control.
We like that we can control our outcome and we determine our own results.
A lot of things are within our reach, and achieving them gives us fulfillment. Having achievements brings us meaning, it makes us happy.
But as I progress on this journey on my own, for the past couple of years, my perspective started to shift.
Maybe we don’t get to choose life after all, we like to think we do, but actually we don’t.
Life chooses us instead.
To a great degree, we have completely no control.
In the first place, we didn’t even get a chance to choose whether to be born or not.
A big part of us are already pre-determined.
Life chooses your genetics and your physical attributes, as much as you would like to be a Usain Bolt, your Asian genes won’t allow you to do so.
We can’t choose our parents or the families that we are born into.
Some people get born into wealthy families whose grandparents inheritances can last for 5 generations.
Some people who aren’t so lucky, don’t get the privilege to study in good schools and some people don’t even get the opportunity to study. The fact that we can read this entry on the internet already tells us our privilege. There are probably kids who get born in the mountains or countryside and they never had a book to read, because life chooses them. They had no say, they had no control. Life chose for them to be this way.
As much as we think we can control outcomes to live the life we want, there is just so much that we can do that is the determining factor. For the most part, they are already pre-determined.
Perhaps you disagree, or maybe I am wrong,
Maybe some of us do actually get to choose the life that we want,
But whether life chooses us or we choose life,
We still must live,
Must still go on.